


Disclosure

by vivalalauren



Category: Baby-Sitters Club - Ann M. Martin
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-09
Updated: 2012-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-03 08:47:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivalalauren/pseuds/vivalalauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s a surreal feeling, being needed like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disclosure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [automaticdoor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/automaticdoor/gifts).



Disclosure

It’s a surreal feeling, being needed like this.

Stacey has been obsessed with control ever since that first semester of the sixth grade, when everything had slipped away from her, like water through her fingertips. She had started babysitting regularly the following spring, first to keep her busy, and then for the satisfaction of being wanted. The first time she had been specifically asked for by a kid in her building, Stacey had smiled for the rest of the afternoon.

Of course, these relationships are carefully orchestrated. Stacey has learned to tread cautiously, to keep people at a distance. Kids are the easiest, because they don’t know any difference.

It was when they had moved to Stoneybrooke that things had gotten complicated, when a tendril of apprehensive hope had begun to tentatively put down routes in the pit of Stacey’s stomach..

She wasn’t just dealing with seven year olds any more. Relationships here were far more dangerous, for the simple fact that they were on a level playing field. Kristy and Mary Anne were easy to ignore, at first.

But Claudia, that was the real problem. Those dark, expressive eyes haunted Stacey in their openness. Claudia is never afraid to say what she feels. She cares for Stacey, and she tells her so, simple as that.

It gradually became easier for Stacey to reciprocate that trust. Coming clean about her diabetes at their first sleepover as a foursome had been part risk, part defense mechanism. Better to get it out in the open, she had reasoned to herself, before she got even more attached to the possibility of friendship.

It was almost harder when they didn’t reject her outright. Understanding slipped through her defenses far easier than any barb ever could have, making Stacey’s breath catch and eyes sting.

“I’m glad you told me,” Claudia had said later, like they were the only two in the room. To her surprise, Stacey found that she was as well.

Stacey knows she is pretty, knows she has the allure of being from the city to back up her looks. But being appreciated by boys is far different than being appreciated by Claudia, and as time has past and Stacey has flitted from relationship to relationship, she finds them all lacking.

Not that she can say any of this, of course. Claudia is the open one in their friendship. Stacey doesn’t bring up feelings, other than to reciprocate them. Sometimes, the sharp intensity of Claudia’s need scares her, because how can she possibly be enough? What has she even given Claudia to have made her stay this long?

Cool confidence is a mask Stacey wears, but not one she has constructed well. Sophisticated, her ass. Underneath it all, Stacey is nothing more than a hypocrite.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you deliberate this long,” Claudia says. It is Saturday night, and they are pregaming before a standard party, where they will no doubt receive the standard lecture from Mary Anne about drinking. Stacey will placate her by giving Mary Anne the keys to her BMW, and Mary Anne will be too excited about driving the coveted car to pursue it further. Stacey is pretty sure that at this point, Mary Anne is just lecturing her for the excuse. Tonight, she thinks she’ll save them both time and hand her the keys.

“Dressing up for someone special?” Claudia is continuing to talk to her, voice raised over the hiss of the hair dryer. Stacey knows if she turns to look at her, Claudia will be in little more than her bra. she swigs tequila instead of answering. It is far easier to risk her glucose than her pride.

“Do you want some help?” The voice is suddenly much closer, liquor laced breath assaulting Stacey’s senses. Claudia has drank more than her, but Stacey suddenly feels lightheaded.

“I don’t really want to go to this party,” she says, setting the bottle back on Claudia’s desk.

“You don’t?” Claudia stops in the middle of putting on a shirt, surprised.

“Not really.”

She laughs, the sound muffled by the clothing that is only covering her face. “I don’t want to go either. I just thought you did.”

“You did?” Stacey isn’t sure why this makes her throat constrict. she turns around to face Claudia just in time for her to once again become topless.

“Yeah. But I’d much rather stay here with you and watch Project Runway.” Claudia’s smile is easy and warm, and Stacey suddenly knows she is going to kiss her. She steps forward in a quick move, Claudia’s eyes widening as realization penetrates through the fog of alcohol.

It is like Stacey is in middle school again. Claudia is so close, but Stacey has suddenly forgotten how to initiate contact. She holds claudia’s gaze, breathing quick, and pulse racing all over her body.

It would be so much easier to let Claudia make this final choice. But Stacey has been making Claudia call the shots for far too long. So she leans forward, closing the last few inches separating them.

“We could stay in and do this instead,” Stacey says, surprised at how husky her voice has become. Claudia’s eyes darken further, and her answering smile is all Stacey needs to kiss her a second time, this one much more sure.

Perhaps need is just a matter of perspective. Stacey finds, as her arms come up to incircle Claudia’s shoulders, that it is suddenly far simpler.


End file.
